artisticwitchy: (in the rain)

Don't be afraid to be who you are.

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Created on 2011-10-29 00:37:04 (#1100661), last updated 2011-11-23 (308 weeks ago)

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Name:Mrs. Momma <3
Location:Florida, United States of America

I have opinion you have yours, you don't have to like mine

cuz I don't like yours. What's wrong with you?
I wanna know what's wrong with you
and why this doesn't make sense to you.
I'm stronger now even after everything that you did.

I'm better now I'm awake now I can see, everything in front of me!

Alive and Kicking by Nonpoint.

My name is Sherrie, I'm 24 and I live in Florida with my husband and baby girl. I'm currently studying web design, which is a challenge and a pain in the butt at times but I still enjoy it. I have interest in: cosmetology, natural parenting, drawing, writing and MUSIC. I love almost all music and can find the beauty in every genre and I love exploring and finding things not many people listen to. I go for days literally obsessed with discovering new tunes and sharing with my best friends. I have one tattoo and besides my ears I have a nose piercing. I plan on more body art very soon! Including the tattoo I designed for Chloe, my daughter! I'm a little crazy but I would like to think I'm still a good person. Sometimes, I think I just care too much about other people and what they think instead of being my own best friend. I'm working on that and it's a day to day process.

In a few years we plan to move to the west coast after maintaining solid ground here in Florida :) We're just not ready to leave our Florida family but we know where we want to end up and what schools we want Chloe in. I'm excited!

There may be some opinions about me based upon my past and that's okay. I'm learning to live with that. Not everyone is going to like me or understand me. I'm giving myself a chance to really make things fresh and not a perception of fresh. The internet use to mean so much to me and how I came across. But now I just do things how I like them :)

I've spent way too long trying to find myself and failing so much along the way. :( I always seemed to be the person who was taking one step forward to take two steps back. I think that I have finally come to a place where I realize happiness is not a religion. Happiness isn't a friend. You cannot achieve happiness, by imitating someone else. I always looked to others for my happiness but I'm changing that too.

Along with my flaws, I feel connected to the earth and I believe in the magic of the world. I take my time with my emotions these days, it's a weird feeling and a struggle for me. Not too long ago I made myself feel the emotions of a slump without turning to a person or a higher being. It hurt to just accept it like that but the day I woke up and things started to feel clear with only time as a tool, it made me realize that I can make myself feel better too! I no longer rush myself to "be" anything. The interests I have are because I enjoy them, regardless of where I discovered the interest. If it feels right to me that means no one's opinion matters. Even if they think they know what they're talking about but don't, I don't let that get to me anymore either. Feeling alive is amazing yet terrifying. I love how I feel for once and I do not want that to slip away. I love my family!

In the slideshow you will find: My husband, daughter and I, one of my dearest friends, one of my newest friends Trinity (It's amazing how connected you can feel to a person even when you haven't known each other for very long! As it turns out, she moved in right next to me just after we moved to our home and never knew we were BOTH stay at home moms! Always lonely and really needing someone to talk to. Someone to get through some of our struggles with!) and her baby girl Bella! There are random pictures of the beaches around here, including beautiful pictures I took with Alisa at Sander's Beach! Also, pictures of myself when I was a little girl. Along with pictures of my dad <3

I'm confusing, when I care I a care with all my heart, when I lie I always confess, when I know I have made a bad decision it kills me for days. Becoming a mother has turned my emotions upside down, twisted my brain, stripped this false identity...this, importance of imagery. This baby girl of mine has become the biggest, most wonderful gift life has ever given me. Every decision I have made, even the bad ones. They all led me to her. My muse. My joy. My peace.

I think one of my favorite philosophies is Taoism. I own copies of the Tao Te Ching and the Tao of Pooh. I still need to get the Te of Piglet! I like the concept of things just being the way they are. You just have to accept it and enjoy life the best you can. Even during the hardest times. Even when I can't get my daughter to stop crying I remember something very important: One day I will look back and miss this trailer, I will miss being able to hold her and cradle her. There will come a time when I won't be able to get so much as a smile from her, teenagers! :P If she's anything like I was, she will be a little snot. But then eventually come around. And while I'm waiting for her to come around, I will remember how awesome she was as a baby.

Her expressions, her sounds and the way she fights sleep until she cannot stand herself. She makes such the funniest faces during those times and when she does finally smile, eat and pass out...well life feels kind of perfect. Even when it takes an our to entertain her, that laugh that finally comes is the best. Because I worked for it :) She taught me to compromise with my husband and friends as well. You have to take the good with the bad in a person or you will just end up alone and wishing you could go back and change it.

Chloe was born via emergency cesarean section after 32 hours of some pretty intense labor! The entire experience was nothing like I expected and I went through some seriously traumatizing emotions in the aftermath. I had planned on an all natural delivery but after about 17 hours I finally caved and decided to get the epidural which from the beginning I had a bad feeling about. Well it didn't work and I was in horrible pain the entire time. It was quite an adventure to get her here and she was definitely determined to do her best to get here too! But the shape my pelvic bone was making things difficult for her :( Finally on the morning of May 17, 2011 they informed me of what would have to be done. I was so scared! Luckily I had an amazing hilarious team to comfort me along the way. All I know is, this girl this girl is very smart and very sneaky! She's already growing up way too fast. I wouldn't trade being a mother for anything though!

She has taught us so much about who we really are and has been one of the best things to have ever happened to us. I'm just now coming to terms with and coming around to letting something out to people. After not even knowing I was pregnant for a second time for a few months I found out I was having a miscarriage when I didn't know I was pregnant. I knew in the back of my head. I thought I was going crazy. But I was in fact pregnant. Losing that baby was one of the hardest things I have been through. Chloe is a gift more than many people know. Coming around has been tough. I lost a lot more in the process including a little bit of myself. But in a weird way it was a bit of myself that needed to go away. Due to the miscarriage problems arose with the only blood relative I had left and I lost them for good too. 2011 was an amazing yet insane year for me and I hope the struggles will make for a better year next year. This seems to happen for me anyway. I still cry, I still hurt :( But I get through. For the sake of my family and myself, I had to gain a clear head.

A daughter is the happy memories of the past, the joyful moments of the present, and the hope and promise of the future. ~Author Unknown

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This is the tattoo I got for my father. He passed away November 25th, 2009. After he passed away life then became very raw for me. While I thought I was discovering myself I was losing myself. Things happen for a reason though. Without having my dad with me spiritually, I would have never had the courage to leave an abusive relationship, let go of the past and take the chances I've taken.

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Most of what you see has hover credit!
If you see something you made that mistakingly isn't credited, please let me know!
Whatever lacks credit was probably saved long ago and credit was lost, just let me know and I will gladly add credit where credit is due!
Pagan Mood Theme by [community profile] magic_art

Some of my favorite music includes: the above of course! Weezer, Paramore, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Aerosmith, Muse, Coldplay, 30 Seconds to Mars, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Ayo, Jessie J, Nickelback, Flyleaf, The Killers, Florence and the Machine, Lady Gaga, Skrillex, Rob Zombie, Jamie Woon, Nneka...anything that appeals to me! These are my favorites lately and have been for a long time :) I still love Otep but I try to keep things pretty light most of the time now!

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